"Time of My Life"

Patrick Swayze, my first serious crush....i remember how my sister and i swooned to Dirty Dancing....sighed with Ghost....

A deadly dancer with smouldering looks that could melt the haughtiest of women.

Johnny Castle...you will always be my hero....the special "time of my life"....

The Circle's Shrinkin'

As i come close to the big '3 0', i can't help but introspect about the last decade. Exactly 10 years ago in 1999, i entered another world, fondly called 'JU'. It still is a huge unresloving mystery, and back then , just after i stepped out of one of the oldest and snootiest schools ever, my nose was too high to control! And there was i, struggling to adjust to the SFI narebazi, flyers and campaign posters in Bengali, exam booklets with blank pages....and me struggling to keep my handwriting straight, the teachers talking in Bengali...even in the class......Jesus, where am i?
I made one terrible mistake during the first two years, while i pulled down my nose from the sky, i pushed it too low and there were quite a few people who thought i was an easy catch, politically and personally. While i thought i was being polite, some thought i was naive.

It took me two long years to understand this...and yes, by that time i had conquered the blank pages as well! I made quite a few friends, some just to hang out with, some shared their problems, some became family while some just silently admired. From Darshan Bhavan to Dept of Chemical Engg. to the main Arts Bldg., i had a huge circle of friends which gave me some lasting memories.

The going got a little tough after 2003, and i lost the ones i counted on the most. I soon realised that quite a few of my then friends were plain jealous. I still can't believe what i'm writing but it's so true. I had never asked for any help, i just wanted a pat of encouragement, a hug of support. Not that i was left all alone but the ones i loved most were gone.....the circle began to shrink and it was only the begining...

Utsav became my support system sooner than i realised....when i started seeing him, i wasn't really in love...but our friendship grew so strong that it encompassed everything else. I keep falling in love with him over and over again and it's all because he is such a great friend. Baby, i love u.

One person deserves a special mention, and that's Hal....through all her personal ups and downs and her inherent kiddie nature, she has been a constant factor in my life since 2001. Hugs!

Shoru is a living example of what friendship is all about, he loves Utsav and adores me. I don't have words to express my gratitude to him. Mwahs!

And there was this one person who i wanted to know a little better eversince i met her. She is individuality and independence personified. For many years, i mistook her indifference and thought she was way too unapproachable. I came to know Gejo as she is, over the last year. She will never open up her heart to anyone, but i can proudly say that today, i know her a lot better than many of her friends. She jokes about my idiocyncrasies, but likes me exactly the way i am. We have very similar sensibilities, perhaps beacuse of our cosmopolitan orientation. Love you Gejo, just the way you are!

Being around these few people who have known me for quite a few tried and tested years now, i'm in a tiny but warm little circle.
I don't want any more litmus tests. I am tired of self-pitying freaks, tired of born losers. I am tired of seeing people changing every fortnight, changing once they get girlfriends or get married, tired of being unncessarily polite....in a word, i am tired of being a sponge. I'm going through a thorough cleansing routine and want no negetive vibes whatsoever.

Come to think of it, in the process, i wouldn't mind being known as a snooty bitch with a terrible temper and long nose stuck to the sky by people who don't matter!

My Wedding

...a few moments from my wedding

I was cleaning up my drawer last week and found a cd where i had saved some of my favourite pics from my wedding. Man, what a day it was! The concoction of the Gujju and Bong rituals was getting on my nerves! But, i had never seen my family and close relatives so excited before! That just kept me going. I have always been pampered by my family and close friends but that day i really felt like a princess. I just had one teeny weeny streak of worry - will Utsav be on time! Having grown up with my ever punctual Dad, who was perhaps Hitler's man-friday in his previous birth, the clock has been an integral part of our growing up years. So, Utsav being on time meant a lot! And to my utter surprise and relief, he was!

Even today, when i think of my dad and Utsav seated near the 'havan' , i get goosebumps. The two most important men of my life, get along like a house on fire these days. (Touchwood!)

Few of my favourites from Ghalibs treasure

Have to type in Hindi for the flavour, too bad i don't know Urdu. But i will rewrite them in Roman script as well for some of you!

उनके देखे से जो आ जाती है मुहं पे रौनक,
वो समझते हैं की बीमार का हाल अच्छा है।
(Unke dekhe se jo aa jati hai munh pe raunak,
Wo samajhte hain ki bimaar ka haal achha hai.)

मैं भी मुहं में ज़बान रखता हूँ,
काश! पूछो की मुद्दा क्या है।
(Main bhi muhn mein zabaan rakhta hoon,
Kaash! poochho ki mudda kya hai.)

गासिद आते आते ख़त एक और लिख रखूँ,
मैं जनता हूँ, जो वो लिखेंगे जवाब में।
(Gaasid (messenger) aate aate khat ek aur likh rakhoon,
Main jaanta hoon, jo wo likhenge jawaab mein.)

उम्मीद

एक न एक शम्मा दिल में जलाये रखिये
सुबह होने को है,
माहौल बनाये रखिये...

Little Questions - Part I

Thanks to Supriya, i have found something to write about, after ages. I stole these little questions from her blog, it was great fun answering them!

LAST:
1. Last beverage → Coffee
2. Last phone call → Utsav
3. Last text message → Sanchayita
4. Last song you listened to → Hey Jude
5. Last time you cried → Yesterday

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice → Yes
7. Been cheated on → No
8. Kissed someone & regretted it → No.
9. Lost someone special → Yes.
10. Been depressed → Yes.
11. Been drunk and threw up → Never

HAVE YOU:
12. Made new friends → Yes.
13. Fallen out of love → Yes
14. Laughed until you cried → often.
15. Met someone who changed you → Yes.
16. Found out who your true friends were → Yes, I suppose.
17. Found out someone was talking about you → Yes.
18. Kissed anyone on your friend's list → Yes.
19. Made the first Move → No.
20. Do you have any pets → No
21. Do you want to change your name → No.
22. What did you do for your last birthday → Had a beer with Utsav at home.
23. What time did you wake up today → 7.30am
24. What were you doing at midnight last night → Took a shower.
25. Name something you CANNOT wait for → Food when I am hungry, which is almost always!
26. Last time you saw your father → Yesterday
27. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life → I wish I was more organised.
28. Most visited webpage → http://www.google.com/
29. What's your name → Amrita
30. Nicknames → Amu, Bali, Babli, Manka, Mana.
31. Zodiac sign → Pisces, Aeries
32. Male or female or transgendered → Female.
33. Elementary → New Model KG and Primary School
34. Schools → La Martiniere, Kolkata
35. Colleges → Jadavpur University
36. Hair color → Dark Brown
37. Long or short → Mid length
38. Height → 5'6”
39. Do you have a crush on someone? → No
40. Ever been in love → Yes.
41. Piercings → Yes.
42. Tattoos → No.
43. Righty or lefty → Lefty

FIRSTS :
44. First piercing → Ear piercing when I was three
45. First best friends → Krishnendu, Zahed, Hetal, Amarpreet
46. First sport you joined → Swimming
47. First pet → None
48. First vacation → Banglore, but I was 6 months old then; so I'l go with Delhi.
49. First concert → Don’t remember
50. First crush → A senior in school

51. Eating → I love food.
52. Drinking → Often.
53. I'm about to → Finish an article on Chef Sunshine.
54. Listening to → My colleagues talking about some technicalities of websites

YOUR FUTURE :
55. Want kids → Maybe
56. Want to get married → I am married
57. Careers in mind → I love my present job

58. Lips or eyes → Eyes.
59. Hugs or kisses → Hugs
60. Shorter or taller → Taller.
61. Older or Younger → Younger.
62. Romantic or spontaneous → Romantic
63. Nice stomach or nice arms → Nice arms
64. Sensitive or loud → Sensitive.
65. Hook-up or relationship → Relationship.
66. Trouble maker or hesitant → Neither.

HAVE YOU EVER :
67. Kissed a stranger → No.
68. Lost glasses/contacts → Never
69. Sex on first date → Never.
70. Broken someone's heart → Not sure, maybe
71. Had your own heart broken → No
72. Been arrested → No.
73. Turned someone down → Yes.
74. Cried when someone died → Yes.
75. Liked a friend that is a girl → Yes.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
76. Yourself → Yes
77. Miracles → Oh yes, i do.
78. Love at first sight → Maybe with clothes and shoes,never with people
79. Heaven → Yes
80. Santa Clause → I believe in the spirit of Christmas and so, believe everything about it!
81. Peace in this lifetime → I hope
82. Angels → Yes, of course

83. Is there one person you want to be with right now → Oh yes, badly!
84. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time in the past → Never.
85. You will die Young → I wish.
86. You will end with the one you love and learn to love the one you are with → end with the one i love

Little Questions - Part II

Some more from her blog!!

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Yes
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Sometime last week
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yes, but there’s room for improvement
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Mutton, chicken, but I would prefer roti, sabzi or a dosa
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? No
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? I think I would
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM? Often.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Oh No!
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Muesli
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Yes
12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Chocolate, Black Currant
13. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Eyes, clothes
14. RED OR PINK? Red
15. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? Fat
16. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Chandrolekha
17. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST? If they have time..yes
18. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING ? Olive green- grey cotton trousers with dark brown shoes
19. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Red
20. FAVORITE SMELLS? First rain, coffee, rum, Old Spice among many others
21. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? I copied it from Supriya’s blog, nonetheless, I do like her a lot
22. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Swimming, at times Cricket.
23. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Yes
24. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Dev D
25. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Maroon T-shirt
26. SUMMER OR WINTER? I actually like autumn
27. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Blink
28. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Dont have one.
29. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? Different Strokes
30. FAVORITE SOUND(S). Rain, sound of heels on a wooden floor, crumpling of dried leaves31. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Rolling Stones.
32. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Gujarat
33. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Well, my intuition is above average, I have to learn how to recognise it at all times
34. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? In a nursing, close to my home in Kolkata
35. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER? University

Jesus, it has ages since i got down to write something in my blog. My fingers itch, images collage in my mind, words spin like humming bees near my ears.....but i just cannot write!
HELP!

Winter Fragrance

The month of November brings a new fragrance in my bathroom, the smell of glycerine soap! This is one of those smells that has remained constant in my life. My dad who is very particular about which soap to use during which season, (we keep teasing him about it!) hardly experimented in the winters! It was always glycerine, he tried quite a few brands but ultimately remained loyal to one of the traditional Bengali ones. I realised how i got conditioned to the ritual when i moved in with Utsav two years ago. Whether i shopped at Spencer's or the local grocer, anytime after November, i invariably bought the same brand!!

The strong but pleasant smell takes me to a bitter-sweet roller coaster ride through the many winters i spent in my Lansdowne Chakraberia home. I remember mamma peeling oranges for us at our terrace. My sister and i often did our homework on the terrace too, which ended with a game of ludo where our ayah (boudi, we called her) joined us!
I remember papa almost chasing us to the terrace the moment we came out of the bathrooms with shampooed hair! 'Chhate jaa' he screamed, he wouldn't tolerate his daughters catching a cold! However, no matter how much she stays protected, my sister always managed to catch one, nevermind the season!!! I remember our daily quarrels about the speed of the fan in our room!
I remember peeling kilos of fresh peas for those amazing matar kachoris!
I remember the beautiful crysanthymums and pulsatinums that papa grew so passionately.
I remember the trips to New Market for Christmas decorations and the sinful rich plum cakes! The trips to the Zoo, Victoria Memorial Gardens, annual flower shows...i remember them all.
It also takes me to our annual holidays to Mumbai and Ahmedabad. I remember how Mahim dressed like a bride during the Christmas week.
Its amazing how a particular fragrance brings so many memories to our minds, memories so fresh that it feels like 'just yesterday'.
Thank you Papa, thank you for the glycerine-soap-months, for the wonderful winters, specially for me. It means so much more now.
Love you, Papa.

monotony

I know what you mean Gejo (or should i say Priya!), i think we are very lucky to have realised this before our 30s, don't you think?! Or are we going through our mid-life crisis two decades too early? Its quite strange, stillness and motion together… a wink and years pass by but each day seems to drag and suffocated in the monotonous grind.
Jesus, am i making any sense?
I don’t know what it is, why this monotony; but something, somewhere needs a little mending. And i have to figure it out before i turn into one of those irritable middle aged women!

seekh

kabhi kabhi samajh nahi aata ki main chal rahi hoon ya tham gayi...jaise hi kuch kadam aage badte hain, jane kahaan se ek ajeeb sa thaharav aa jata hai. kya meri zindagi ab shuru hui hai, ya kahin se aake tham gayi?
kuch saal pehele tak mere charo taraf karvaan sa lagaa rahta tha, ab sirf chand log hain jinhe main apna humsafar manti hoon. aage ye saath denge ya nahi, ye to waqt hi taye karega, jab tak hain, hain.
meri yahi chalti- rukti zindagi ne ek bahut ehem baat sikhai hai mujhe: khush rahna sirf apne hatho mein hi hai; apni khushiyon par kisi aur ko haq dena, khudkhushi se kam nahi.

Durga Puja

As the Durga Puja approaches, as the structures of upcoming pandals start to disrupt the traffic, everything changes in this city. Perhaps this is very subjective, perhaps, everyone feels the same…I don’t know. The air smells different and the colour of the sky changes. Even when the rains play spoilsport, there is something very rosy about the grey clouds, giving the bamboos stocked for the pandals a very quaint, moist smell.
I don’t party every Puja night, nor am I an enthusiastic pandal hopper, but I love the feel of this true blue Bengali carnival! The only ritual I try to maintain is the anjali on ashtami at the 22 Palli Durgostav. The traditional idol of the Devi leaves such a great impact.
I like to take late night walks around my para, just off Elgin Road, to witness the cosmopolitan side of the Puja. The cute Punjabi children running around with balloons and whining for another ice- cream; the Gujarati college kids in their colourful chaniya cholis and kediyus grabbing a bite (and some gossip) before they hit the dandiya –floor; the Biharis in their bightest best teamed with matching jewellery (just out of an K-serial), the sugar sweet didas in crisp red and white sarees struggling to get out of the rented Sumo for devi darshan. I think the spirit of the regional puja along with the national navratra can be felt only in this part of the city…it’s amazing, you have to experience it to believe it!
(I apologise if I’m sounding snobbishly partial!)

All of us go through our daily lives in our own way, all of us have sudden thoughts swimming in our heads through out the day, but somehow most get lost in the grind. Had i begun blogging when it all started, i would be richer by a million thoughts today! Well, this is my very first post. And i must mention that i have been inspired to do this by reading the blogs of a very special girl, Khyati Patel. She is more like my baby and perhaps that's why we always have these 'random thoughts' in our crazy heads! So, this is for u my little darling!
Wish me luck!